I met a woman online tonight. We exchanged a couple of e-mails and she went to bed with the understanding that we'd probably resume tomorrow.
Well, we hadn't exchanged pictures yet and based on information she gave me, I found her picture online. And WOAH, she's horrific. Now I try not to be too judgemental on physical appearance, seeing as how I'm no great vision myself. But she's nearly a foot shorter and fifty pounds heavier than me!
What's the most polite way of ditching her? Should I be up front and tell her I found her picture? Should I just ignore her (it's a trash e-mail address)? I hate doing that to people.
Let this be a lesson, kids, picture FIRST.
yeah, that happened to me once. I was talking to a couple of ladies online. One was cute and sweet. The other was a freakin BEHEMOTH!!! She sent me her pic, and it was one of those paralyzing surprises, like the first time you see a dead body. Fortunately, she didn't ask what i thought, so I was able to just say, "ok, i got it." after that, i politely avoided provoking further conversation. i was cordial and we exchanged pleasantries, but did not offer anything that would make her any more interested in me.
on a less appropriate note. i did show her photo to the other person i was talking to. this gave US quite a bit to talk about.
Dont ever judge people on their looks. Besides, you're doing it "based on the information she gave you". You could be wrong for all you. How would you like it if someone judged you on your appearance? So keep exchanging emails. The onyl valid reason for ignoring her is if you dont like her personality or if she creeps you out(by the way she acts or if she says something). If you do meet her even, dont act all weird just because she looks weird. Talk to her, and remember that sometimes real beauty is under your skin.
I can't think of a polite way to say "I saw your picture and can't stand the way you look, so go away ..... go far far away....".
A polite way would be to lie.... lie like a rug..... say something like "My wife caught me on-line and I have to stop emailing you now, sorry, bye now, bye bye"..... or some such story...
And...... yes if looks are important... then learn your lesson.
Ignoring her could be the easiest way out. If you have only exchanged a couple of e-mails tonight and had no other contact i'd say it's not a bad way of leaving things.
All you have to say is: I'm sorry, it was nice e-mailing you, but, I don't get the feeling we are "the perfect mach, Good Luck.
Ignore and move on.
"I've thought about it, and i just don't think it will work, we are in two totally differnt places at the moment?" "Your really not the kind of person I'm looking for?" " i've suddenly been fixed up on a blind date with my friend that was totally amazing!" of the alway popular "My ex and I have decided to give it another shot". I suppose it would be rude to just ignore her but since you've never actually met in line... your fairly safe there. You don't actually owe her any explainationl but be the bigger person and let her down easy!
Just be honest that you don't feel any chemistry with her.. you don't have to mention the picture.... it's not a lie and it's better to end something than to ignore someone and giving them false hope. It hurts them more in the long run. Guys are so scared of hurting girls feelings but what they don't understand is the honest truth hurts much less than lies and false hope. I appreciate honesty and would just take it and go on. If I was being ignore I would be worrying wondering what happened... if I did something wrong and etc...
Send her a email that says something like this.
I think you are great person and I feel you deserve the honest truth. I just don't feel any chemistry between the two of us and I know things won't progress. The last thing I would want to do is hurt your feelings so I thought it would be best if I told you now before things got deeper. I wish you the best in life and good luck on finding someone who is right for you.
Ok I think it goes without saying that you are being super critical here. First of all you said that you were dating online so you must have some insecurities yourself, and I think that you should know by now not to judge a book by its cover but all that being said I do understand that physical attraction is an aspect of the beginnings of a relationship. I can't say that I blame you too much for being so judgemental if it is as bad as you say but also, you should know that she may have changed from the picture or it could be simply an unflattering picture. I just hope you aren't judging too many people this way because you may really miss out on meeting a great person. Anyways...as far as your question goes....I think that you need to be honest but there is no reason to completely trash her self esteem ether. I wouldn't go off and say that you don't want to talk anymore because you find her repulsing. Maybe say that you have been thinking about your life and the type of relationship you are looking for and you realized you are just a little too busy right now to start anything.
The most polite way is probably just to ignore her or politely say you don't "click" (which is, attraction-wise, true). She won't feel as rejected or hurt as she probably would if you told her straight up why you lost interest. It's okay, you guys only talked for one night - not serious, no big deal.
Keep in mind that he isn't really being any more critical than a normal person would be; Why make him feel guilty for not being physically attracted at all to her? If it's his preference to find somebody that is physically attractive, then that is his decision. He is being honest and cutting her loose, instead of leading her on by continuing to talk to her. I don't see how lying to her and making up a story of why he can't talk to her is any better than cutting off communication completely.
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